Rants And Raves » Craigslist Western Maryland

craigslist | rants & raves in western maryland

rubix cube (scumberland)

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Sex (scumberland)

SEX IS A MISDOMEANER!!!!

The more I miss, the meaner I get.

Hunting (scumberland)

Well, in keeping with the current theme, here's one for you uns....

A husband was out fishing until late afternoon...tired and hungry after a long day of fishing, he finally came in to grab supper and left his gear in his canoe.

His wife decided that she wanted to go out on the lake and enjoy the sunset so she went down to the lake and pushed the canoe out.

Not long afterwards a gamewarden came by, and asked if she had her fishing license with her. "I'm not fishing" she replied. The warden answered back, "Well perhaps not, but you have all the equipment. I'm going to have to write you a citation for not having a license."

The wife slightly aggitated but quick on her feet said to him, "Well, alright. But I'm going to have to call the cops and have you arrested for raping me.". "What!!" the game warden replied, "I didn't rape you!". To this the woman replied, "Well perhaps not, but you have all the equipment."



and if any of you hunters out there have more meat than your freezer will hold, I'd be happy to help with your problem.....I know you can't sell it, but I could certainly give you a gift in a bottle for your holiday enjoyment.

RE: re hunting reply (western maryland)

Your lawnmower must be a Bad Boy.

It's a Craigslist miracle!

We have just witnessed an incredible miracle. Two guys arguing about silly things, then they both turn around and offer apologies! This may be the first time in the whole history of CL that this sort of thing has happened. Simply amazing, it restores my faith in humanity. If only there were more Raves than Rants.

Hunting- reply

Ok, this has gone far enough...You're absolutely right, some of the things I said were ridiculous, I guess we both said things that were taken the wrong way. I think I jumped the gun when reading your reply which started with "asshole". I just want you to remember, you don't always know the other person's story. I, as well, offer my apologies to you...

re hunting reply

Where does how educated you are or how much money you make come into this eqasion? How do you think by making more money that automatically makes you a better person? That in itself proves you aren't very educated at all. I am certain Hitler was much more educated and more wealthier than Mother Teresa - does that make him better?

You don't have to worry about my salary because I am certain that you are wrong in thinking your financial status is better than mine. I will not go into particulars because it really doesn't matter, and you would probably think I was bullshitting you anyway. I can say this: My riding lawnmower is worth more than a lot of people's car, my car (we have 3 cars, but just 1 car) is worth more than a lot of people's salary, our salary is worth more than a lot of people's house. Just imagine how much more our house is actually worth - and we have 2 houses by the way. We carry absolutely no debt other than the house mortgages. We have total disposable income, and we live extremely comfortably. I could lose my job and we have enough in the bank where I could realistically be off work for 4 years (that is not a typo) without worrying about a thing or even having to change a single spending habit. I have at least 20-25 more years ahead of me where I can still work and pile up yet more money. Now you tell me..............do you still think you have more than me? Does this make me a better person, and does it matter in the first place? I am also a good person and I do good things for others. I would give you the shirt off my back.

You were right to be mad at me for stereotyping you and including you among the irresponsible dumbass hunters. I know there are plenty of very good, responsible hunters out there too. I was an asshole to say that, and I knew I was being an ass when I said it. I was purposely stirring up some shit, the same way you were stirring up the shit with your post and your reply. The way your post read, it sounded like rather than being concerned about saftey, you were more pissed off at them ruining your hunt. Your post also came off as if you were an ass. So from one asshole to another, I just had to put you in your place. You have my apology if you really want it or really even care.

Hunting (reply) (Hagerstown)

First off, how dare you stereotype me just because I enjoy hunting? I could care less about someone trekking through the woods on the trail. As a matter of fact, I wish more people would participate in outdoor activities and get some exercise. As far as the hunting, yeah they do make noise, but any animal that is around this area are used to it, so no, I wasn't upset about that. I just enjoy getting outdoors and enjoying nature, away from cell phones, noise, etc. I do know that every year there are "hunting accidents" where some stupid hunter shoots at whatever moves, and someone gets hurt or killed. My reason for the initial post was concerning stupid people that have no common sense! If society had a little more common sense, maybe we could avoid a lot of things in life. Oh, and by the way, I am well-educated, probably make a lot more money than you, am proud of who I am, and also donate game to the feed the hungry program...instead of wasting time replying to this post, try brushing up on your grammar skills!

Turkey Recipe (scumberland)

Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try.


8 - 15 lb. turkey

1 cup melted butter

1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)

1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) Salt/pepper to
taste


Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.


Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done.

And, you thought I didn't cook...

re hunting

Hey asshole just because it is hunting season doesnt mean the rest of us have to stay out of the woods. We have every right to be there too. In fact we have more of a right because we are there to enjoy nature and not to kill everything that moves just to prove our manhood, and so that we can mount a cool dead animal on our wall. What are you doing anywhere near the Appalachain trail anyway? What - is it too hard for you to go to a more isolated spot where you would be a lot less likely to encounter other people? Who cares if they werent wearing blaze orange - again, we are not there to accomodate you. You worded your post trying to make it look like you were concerned about the safety of others, when in fact you were probably just pissed off that they were making too much noise and ruining your killing spree. I hate hunters - you guys are a bunch of dumb imbred cowards.

Re: Customer Complaint/ post

Mike, thanks for writing, I LOVE knowing that I pissed you off.
feel free to forward it to anyone you would like.. I am sure that they will jump right one this one... LMAO.
You hide behind the police and authority like they have the almighty power, I for one am not afraid .. FREEDOM OF SPEECH!
They will surely let you know that when they get to your complaint in 6-8 weeks LOL.
PS I never said it was a burger, but I am sure it happens alot more places then you expect! I am not going to say what kind of food, let them wonder. Thanks for the support other poster, you are obviously as awesome as I am !

re spit in burger

i think that all those complaining snobs should watch the movie waiting.

Inspired to tell... wanna hear secrets anyone??

I am very inspired by the post secrets type website and can only imagine the secrets that are out there that ARENT being shared.
I would love it if people would post their secrets here... no names, of course. No one will ever know its you! Post if you dare.

re: my dear customer post and replies

Laughing my ass off!
Typos are common and do not mean people can not spell, seems to be a common theme on here...
No McDonalds is not where I work, however I am sure you would LOVE to convince yourself of that so that you know where to avoid. I did change my post, however I will not be looking over my shoulder, I am confident that you will be looking in your food and watching your mouth you ass lover though, so I made my point~


Spit is least often added to the food, although you seem to be fixating on that. Most of the time it is far more foul.... I know of one story about a girl who was on her period and left a bloody tampon in the bathroom trash.... this other guy got it out (with gloves on of course ... you never can be too careful!) and rubbed it on something edible... it makes me throw up in my mouth remembering it , of course as I am laughing my ass off.... poor complainers, its almost not right to have so many stories to tell them and never get a chance... maybe I will start a brag book with their names and addresses so that when I do finally quit this hated job I can send them thinking of you cards and tell them what SOMEONE did... it would make me feel ALOT better to know that they knew!!

Depot Hill is NOT motocross track (Frostburg)

To the kid in the red and white motorcross outfit, riding on the trails on Depot Hill. Yeah it's us, the people you threw mud and leaves on as you revved by.
We are going to find out where you live and the police are going to charge you. We have already reported you and they are looking for you as well. You might want to change your number 6 on your bike as that helps identify you. We have a good idea that you live in the Mount Savage area and that's what we told the cops. Enjoy your dirt bike kid cuz you won't have it for long.

It's a darn shame

It's a darn shame how we Americans cry about freedom of speech and how the government tries to censer everything. Yet we do the same on this site. Somebody flagged my opinion Friday. It had been up for more than two weeks. Speaking directly to the person who flagged my post, no matter how you felt about what I wrote, what gives you the authority to flag it?

I guess my point about how America as a whole is a greedy, lazy, manipulative society, struck a nerve. If that is the case, why don't you help me and others work towards changing that instead of silencing the truth?

So I was hunting this morning... (Hagerstown)

I was hunting in Booonsboro (Reno Monument Rd) on public land, and about 9am I heard several voices, looked over and there were about 6 or 8 people hiking on the Appalachian Trail (which runs through this public hunting area). So I ask myself...why in the hell would you be trekking through the woods in mid-November, during fu**n hunting season!!!!!!! Not to mention, there was no orange or bright colors displayed. Hell, one woman even had her two dogs with her?!?! WTF Lady, are you asking for your dogs to be killed? Now, I myself would never make a mistake for anything other than a deer, but we all know that it happens. Guys get trigger-happy and shoot as soon as they see something! Just thought I'd throw this out there, for everyone's safety.

re; dear customer (Hagerstown)

Thats some funny shit, anyone wanting to get free food should get the extra shit to go with it, spit, ear wax, fromunder cheese, and even a bugger or two. I know if i was serving the food i would do it, it just seems right. i might even shoot some sperm in it just for the flavor. i have worked all my life and you people who collect public assistance suck, you all need to get jobs and quit breeding, hagerstown is full of nigger lovin fat white bitches. you all have a happy thanks giving and look twice at whats in your turkey, or gravy...

re: my dear costumer post

You have nothing to worry about unless you are one of the complainers, and I can not be proscuted- FREEDOM of speech... notice how I did not mention that I specifically did anything , nor do I care if they trace this back to a computer that is shared with 1,000 other students here... no cop will take the time to care . MY post may be a truly fictional RANT... I see no evidence to the contrary ( ie no cameras in food prep, nor any evidence that my friends did anything to anyone).. maybe it will make you snobs think twice about whom u offend though~

R.E dear customer (001)

Thanks for posting, you fucking moron. Now the authorities can trace your URL back to you and the other sorry ass losers you work for and file charges against you, you little prick. I hope you die from food poisoning, and I wish it to be a slow death, hoping you suffer till the very end.

Re: Dear Customer

You are an immature scum of the earth ignorant piece of crap !!!! Grow up you little punk !! Hope someone does the same to you !!!!!!




You spat

feel the need to speak up and address some of the customers who chose to complain... I want to let you know that first of all, no one gives a damn~ we all know that you are only complaining to get free food.
Second, you need to realize that the term "dont bite the hand that feeds you" applys here.
SO you complain about me, or my coworkers, or the food.... hmm my boss is not going to fire me, and I will still be here when you get that FREE order... while its free of charge, it is not free of other things...
Like the time we dipped portions of your food into the employee toilet (that was hilarous!) or another complainer ended up eating spit & boogers. While you think you got over and are getting it free, we got over and made you eat nasty foul things... we are constantly dreaming up ways to get back at you with your customer is always right attitude... . One lady in particular made a real impact, sending that email to corperate LOL... my manager posted on the bulletin board, with your full address in site... be mindful that I have very immature friends who may think it hilarious to bust the windows out of your car, or flatten your tires in the middle of the nite... your complaints could end up costing you more then you know!

Before you respond , know that I hate my job, but have bills to pay. I do not go to work to please you, because I like you or care about you. I go for the pay check. Anyone who says otherwise is feeding you a line of BS.
DO not get mad at me for finally being the one to speak up and warn you.


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1462606917

Dear Customer: Read if you are a customer ...

I feel the need to speak up and address some of the customers who chose to complain... I want to let you know that first of all, no one gives a damn~ we all know that you are only complaining to get free food.
Second, you need to realize that the term "dont bite the hand that feeds you" applys here.
SO you complain about me, or my coworkers, or the food.... hmm my boss is not going to fire me, and I will still be here when you get that FREE order... while its free of charge, it is not free of other things...
Like the time SOMEONE dipped portions of your food into the employee toilet (that was hilarous!) or another complainer ended up eating spit & boogers. While you think you got over and are getting it free, SOMEONE made you eat nasty foul things... Imagine having nothing better to do then to constantly dream up ways to get back at you with your customer is always right attitude... . One lady in particular made a real impact, sending that email to corperate LOL... my manager posted on the bulletin board, with your full address in site... be mindful that I have very immature friends who may think it hilarious to bust the windows out of your car, or flatten your tires in the middle of the nite... your complaints could end up costing you more then you know! Not that I would do such a thing, but GASP I can not help the actions of others :)

Before you respond , know that I hate my job, but have bills to pay. I do not go to work to please you, because I like you or care about you. I go for the pay check. Anyone who says otherwise is feeding you a line of BS.
DO not get mad at me for finally being the one to speak up and warn you.

re: i can't believe

how long ago was this did u try filling a police report?

hotel bill (scumberland)

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to consider this...

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key
West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide
to stop for a rest.

They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but
they only plan to sleep for four hours and then
get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk
clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.

When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate,
the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and

then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains
the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The
best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains
the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the

Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives
up and agrees to pay.

He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.

"But sir," he says, this check is only made out for $50."

"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300
for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here and you could have."

i can't believe (west. md)

i still can't believe that out of the 13 paintings I had in your building...............None were returned, stolen off the walls, If I ever find them at a yard sale I really don't know what I'll do...thanks for nothing you loser. all that work GONE

Re:pineapples

that is almost like the one about the 3 guys break downand ask this farmer if they can spend the nite he says sure just dont have sex with my daughter they agree well in the morning the farmer finds out that ll 3 had sex with her he goes to the first guy and say so you had sex with my daughter number 1 says yes sir the farmer says well i tell you what go get one of those bushell baskets over there and get a bushel of anything you want from my farm he comes back with a bushell of cherrys the farmer says now shove each of the up your ass he goes to the second guy and tellss him the same thing he brings back a bushell of apples and again the farmer tells him to shove them up his ass finally he goes to the 3 guy and tells him to pick a bushell of anything he wants well the farmer goes and checks on the other 2 and they are laughing there heads off he think well it couldnt have been that enjoyable for them so he decides to ask them whats so funny and the one say well jim is out there picking a bushell of watermelons

don't disgrace your family (scumberland)

There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. "He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."

She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.

Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.

The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."

tricking a nun (scumberland)

hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

olympic condoms (scumberland)

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand, Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?" she asks, "What makes them so special?"

"There are three colors," he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course," says the man proudly.

The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

Re: Child support Balt.

I feel your frustration and your anger but dead let me tell you I know this onechick that has to pay 1000.00 a month in child support due to the father lying about everything ie income and daycare for the kids.My boyfriend and his ex a notarized agreement that neither of them would pay child support but she has filed for child support behind his back now he is having to go to court.He is going to file for child support from her since she broke the agreement.He never withholds their son from her their son goes to her every weekend and there has been times he goes eariler but she will not let him have his time with his kids.My case I have rasied my daughter myself my daughters father was only in the picture for 2 months total out of 11 1/2 yrs of her life..I have never kept him from seeing her I have always that door open but he refuses by his own chocie not to have anything to do with his / our daughter but he will do anything for his son's.So I see it as this he should pay child support which i only get 350.00 a month. So before you badger females and child support because of your case alone think about what I have said no case is the same.

pinneapples (scumberland)

Three guys are hiking through the jungle when they are captured by savages. the chef says that he will let them live if they can each go out into the wilderness and pick ten pieces of fruit. the catch is they have to stick all ten pieces of fruit up their ass without making a face. The first guy brings apples. he gets one up their before he starts crying and is killed. The second guy brings back blueberry's . He fits nine of them up their. he is almost about to do the tenth when he starts laughing. He dies. The second guy meets the first guy in heaven. The first guy turns to him and says " Dude you were almost out of their what happened?" Still laughing the second guy says " you should of seen Dave." " Yeah what about him?" asks the second guy. Laughing so hard the man is crying he gets himself under control and says " I saw him walking back with pineapples!"

Child Support (Baltimore)

I have seen more than enough bitching mothers on here, Men get SCREWED more than 99% of the time in court. I divorced my ex-wife in 2006, I PROVED to HRS (Human Services) with VIDEO that she was unfit, they went to her house and she cried so they gave her 30 days to clean up before the inspection, she FAILED, they gave her another 30 days, She BARELY made it, they let HER keep my children whom would have a much better life with me. Then the court had the NERVE to grant her $2000.00 a month in child support leaving me with $300 - $400 a pay check (Every 2 weeks) to live on in Maryland. WTF ? I told the judge I can live on that and SHE said that's not her problem, get a second job.

My ex is a fucking teacher with a MASTERS DEGREE, she makes over 70K a year (I make 60K before taxes, health care, Union Dues, Retirement) They violated federal law by counting my income before all of that, then gave her an additional amount for child care. I called the day care provider and they said my kids stopped going there in 2006, I even got a signed notarized affidavit from the owner. She went into court and lied to the court saying she paid her mother 800.00 a month to watch the kids after school, my reply was OK then it shouldn't be a problem to see her unaltered tax returns where she claimed the money, and also her license as a day care provider from the county, which she would have to have under WV law. She admitted under oath that her mother didn't claim the money and that she didn't have a license, no penalty nothing and the bitch still gets the 800.00 a month.

She purposely makes it difficult to see my children, she tells them nasty things about me, (all lies of course) and the stupid ass Bitch judge (Boone County) you know who you are doesn't care that my kids live in filth while that fat bitch sits on her ass all evening. She cries to everyone about how hard it is for her to be a single mother, but when I tell her I will gladly take the kids and she can see them when ever she wants she declines. Fuck her, Fuck the courts, they are all damn lucky that I have a conscience and don't go postal on them one by one.

AMERICA SUCKS... (BALTIMURDER)

What is the deal with this country ? I am a natural citizen of this country and I am sorry to day that for the first time in my life I am ashamed to be an American. Our government is taking tax money from individuals who are barely scraping by to give it to other countries. Who gives a shit about Iraq ? Let them rebuild, we footed the bill to free them. We are paying and paying and paying and paying, when do we get help ? I make 60K a year and I take home 22K after taxes, WTF ?

Stop giving hand outs god damn it. If you want to give hand outs then stop taking my fucking tax money, let me keep it, I want to OPT OUT. We gave hundreds of millions to the car companies and they still collapsed or shrunk. We are giving 8000.00 tax breaks to people that are buying houses, what about those of us who cant afford a fucking house because we are paying half our salaries in taxes ?

We need a revolution in this country, by force if necessary. It is time for the government to fear and respect the people not rape and victimize them.

re child support (madness)

Wow my oldest daughter's father is funny..he came to my house out of no where wanting to talk to me but i wasnt here so when I got back home i called him.He asked nothing about our daughter which he never does because he made it known to me,child support office and our 11 yr old daughter that he wants nothing at all to do with her and hasnt since birth...but he had the nerve to ask me if he can claim her on his taxes this yr because he doesnt have any money after he pays his gas for his car and tools for work he lost 30 lbs because he cant afford to eat and blah blah blah i told him oh really thats sad to hear but honestly i really dont care get a 2nd job if you are that damn broke...i rasied our daughter from the time she was born till now myself with your very little amount of child support so its not my issue.he said fine then and hung up

Tonga! (scumberland)

Stop me if you've heard this one before...oh wait, you can't. Oh well....enjoy

So, three jungle explorers are floating down a river in South America. Suddenly their canoe is overtaken by a tribe of savages. They are taken prisoner, and tied to trees in the center of a village of grass huts to await their fate. Eventually the Chief appears...and informs them that they will all have to choose their fates.

Chief asks the first explorer "Death...or Tonga?"

The explorer figures anything is better than death...and chooses Tonga.

Tribesmen unleash him from the tree, and twenty tribal warriors anally rape him. True to his word, the chief lets him go, and he runs into the jungle.

Explorer two, having witnessed this hesitates, but finally decides that its better to be alive than dead, and chooses Tonga. Again, twenty warriors line up and have their way with him. And he is freed, to run into the jungle and regroup with his comrade.

Explorer three is appalled by what he has seen, and decides death with dignity is the better choice.

When the Chief asks him "Death, or Tonga?", he holds his head high and says "DEATH!"

The entire tribe cheers, as the Chief proclaims "Death!....by TONGA!

Re: Child Support (MADNESS)

As my ealier post weeks ago my oldest daughter's father wants nothing to do with her and made it known to both her and I verbally!He will do anything and everything for his boys.He pays child support but I know if he had it his way he would rather have me have someone adopt her so he doesnt have to do anything.My yougest daughters father he currently pays no support to our daughter or his other 2 kids,no bill's, lives off his wife whom has 4 kids of her own but yet tells me I have everything handed to me but I pay well over 1200.00 a month in bill's,do all the parent duties and more considering she has ADHD(full blown) and insomina!He thinks that I have it easy BOY IS HE SO WRONG!

My soon to be husband,he has custody of his son the mother and him agreed no child support through the courts order's.
He lets through the court order though his son go to his mothers house every weekend and even days that she isnt suppose to get him but only allowed him to have the twins a total of 7 times in 2yrs,only 3 times we had both at the same time the other times we were only allowed to have one at a time.She gets welfare 700 a month in cash and 600 in food stamps the past 2 1/2yrs but has been abusing it in more ways then one.We know this but dont have proof of it to report her.Anyways now he has to go through child support and pay for them.So he lost on what to do.I told him he needs to take her back to court and make her pay child support and 2 yrs back support for their son just like he is going to end up having to do for them, take her for shared physical/legal custody of them so he can get his time with them and have his legal rights to them as she has with their son. Its very sad he gets to see and wave to them during the exchange of their son but she will not allow him to take them for a few days a week like she gets with their son.I feel bad for him and its heart breaking.Most fathers are dead beats but there is fathers out there that want to in their kids lives but the mother will not allow it because well this is hewr exuse she doesnt like me because he is with me not her!

Any futher advice I can give to him please tell me!

Re: Re Child support (Htown)

That is Hilarious. Mayhaps you should learn how to read, considering I said THAT I DO HAVE A JOB. Jackass.
Also, what's funni to me is that after reading all that, you still took the time to attack me, the single mother who is
doing what she is supposed to do, taking care of her kids.. Instead of the father who hasn't seen them for 8 months.
WOOOOOT!! Way to go =) I love when people prove how rediculous they are. <3

Child Support (H-town)

I have seen many listings and opinions on here about child support and the situations surrounding them so i thought i'd throw my sense in the mix.
(Forgive me, I am pissed off and bored lol)

Yes, I believe that any parent who is not taking an active part in their childrens lives should be atleast responsible monetarily. Be it the father, mother or both. Though in my time, I must say, I've encountered more dead beat dads than moms... But there are so many fine lines and things that are different in each situation. I tried and tried to get my kids' father to be a part of their life. Believe me, I've done everything. But as it turned out he isn't there. I even gave him the opportunity to just buy the things I needed specifically for the babies (Diapers, food, clothes and such) and drop them off because I didn't want him to think it was just about the money, or that I wouldn't actually spend it on the kids. (I know the stereotype that befalls women on welfare, and such) But he couldn't take the time out of his busy life to bother shopping for them so HE chose to make me go for child support. I didn't want to. His own sister had to drag me down there and tell me that it was ok. That they were his responsibility too. (I have been a single mother of twins from the time they were about 6 months old) Social Services is bullshit. IMO. Im sure sometimes they really do help people out but Im not entirely convinced myself. I had just moved back into town (under other circumstances) with nothing but a few bags of clothes and the playpens they slept in. The first person I called for help was him. I never ask him to help me, or to take care of me. But I feel that he is the one person in this world other than me who has an obligation to these children. I had asked him if they could stay with him for a couple days until i figured shit out. His plan of action was for all of us to go to his sisters house, which he stayed at the first night with us, and upon leaving the 2nd day, never returned. He abandoned us at his sister's house (whom at the time I didn't know extremely well) with no money, no food, no car, no phone. He even left with my carseats in his car. (Kept them for about 2 weeks even though his kids were never in them) Wouldn't answer the phone for her, wouldn't answer the door. He even later adimitted to his sister that he knew she would take care of us and wouldn't throw us out. Through this, how do you think it made me feel?! Here I am living in a woman's house whom I barely know (and thought didn't even like me) depending on her for food and shelter meanwhile he went about his everyday routine, pretending like we didn't even exist. It is very hard for me to ask for help. If I can't get it myself I don't need it, but that is a very hard attitude to maintain when you have two babies depending on you for everything. I have felt worthless, inadequate, like a complete failure... I know having unprotected sex was a mistake that I made and I can't blame anyone for this (except for the fact that he had it as well.) I didn't get myself pregnant, why is it that I have to deal with the consequences by myself? My apologies, Im rambling.
Back to social services. When they finally convinced me that it wasn't 'mean' to go for child support, I was severly disappointed in DSS. When calculating how much cs the non-custodial parent should have to pay, they take into account their monthly income, as well as yours. As I stated earlier, I had just moved back into town and therefor did not have a job as of yet. The woman sounded as though she was putting me down, for not having found a job the instant i got back into town. She also informed me that she couldn't put me down as not having income. SO THEY LIED and said that I had a job working part time making minimum wage. How fair is that? They invented some job for me to calculate how much money he should have to pay for his kids. (The women even told me not to hold out hope for receiving child support) And do you know what they came to? (He was down as making 1900$ a month) 456.67$ wow. Seriously? That is 228.34$ (approximately) for each kid. Let's break that down shall we. Diapers are how much? 20$ a pack. and with twins, that's about 20$ a week -80$.
(Keep in mind that I was receiving no other benefits whatsoever, and working an imaginary job =) Food, clothes, toys, medicine, ect. Plus Im still supposed to provide a house (and i have to have a 3 bedroom by the time they're 5) and so the cheapest rent for that is about 800.00$ a month. I myself am lucky in my situation at this point as I have found a roomate who is willing to watch my kids while I go to work. Yes, i DO have a job. Imagine that, a single mother who receives child support and still works?! Please, I barely manage to keep us with the things we need. Meanwhile, He lives in a house with 3 bedrooms and a nice yard for 1 grand. He works whatever job he wants, not having to worry about his hours (he doesn't need a babysitter) partying every weekend and doing whatever he damn well pleases because He hands me a check at the beginning of each month. This is not fair. The last time my children saw their father's face was 8 months ago. I make the choice to sacrafice some of the luxuaries we could have (a big house, a fenced yard, millions of toys and designer clothes) because I CHOOSE to work part time. And do you know why? Because I want to raise my children. There is NOTHING wrong with that. Im not leaving them during the most impressionable years in their lives to be molded by a complete stranger. Life is hard. Even scary sometimes. But at the end of the day, Im the one who puts my children to bed and they know that their mother loves them.

Their father has every opportunity in the world to see them, to be with them. He knows that I would never keep them from him (unless i thought he would hurt them in some way) Yet he chooses to have nothing to do with them whatsoever. I even invited him to their birthday party this last june. Guess who didn't show? Guess who didn't even buy them a gift? How can you do that? How can you be like that? In all honesty, I hate kids. I never wanted to have any. All of my friends thought it was some kind of joke when I told them I was pregnant but I stepped up to bat. I accepted that these children were a consequence of my actions, they didn't ask to be born, and I do the best that I can for them every day. He does nothing. He doesn't even act like he has children.

Im not sure where Im going with this anymore. I guess Im just getting it out of my system. Somedays, when I think of how he acts, Im glad he isn't in their life, I wouldn't want them to learn from him. But then there are the days when my children cry and beg to go to Daddy's house that I hate him more than anything in the world. He makes me look like the bad guy because I won't tell my children that their father wants nothing to do with them. Everyone says that they'll realize it in time, but I won't be the one to tell them. I call him whenever they ask (he doesn't answer) I make up excuses for him when he doesn't. In a perfect world, Social services wouldn't just make the absent parent pay child support. They would make them spend time with the life that they helped create. But noone, except himself can make him do that. But if he doesn't have to deal with the tantrums and the sickness, doesn't have to teach them, love them, take them to the doctors or drop them off at school, if he doesn't have to make sacrafices everyday then I truly believe that he should have to pay out of his ass. I wouldn't want you to get the wrong impression. I love to work. Before I got pregnant, I had 3 jobs. Im not lazy. But if i have to give up my entire life to take care of them, why can't he pay me enough child support so that I don't have to go to work. (Except for fun, money for myself and when I can find a babysitter) He should pay me enough to take care of them, make sure they have everything they need (not having to worry about whether or not rent is getting paid this month) and even more. I am mother, I am father, I am caretaker and provider. I am here for the good times, the bad times. I bandage wounds, both emotional and physical. I am a teacher, a custodian, I am a cook, I am a friend. I am also only human.

For all of those who feel as I do, and do the things that I do, I commend you. I commend every father I meet who plays an active part in his childs life.
I condem those who do not. There is NO reason, NO excuse why you cannot love the child that you created out of your own body.
I don't care if he isn't ready to grow up, isn't responsible enough. (People think it comforts me to tell me that 'he's just an asshole.' OK, and Im a bitch but just because everyone knows he's an asshole he gets away with it?!?!) No. Not acceptable. You would think I could find the solace that I need in knowing that they're going to grow up and realize, and want nothing to do with him. Well, you're wrong. That's not what I want for my children or for him.

try to have fun (scumberland)

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

'This Is It' Saturday Afternoon (Hagerstown)

My boyfriend and I went to see 'This is It' Saturday afternoon and witnessed the funniest thing. There were the 4 females in the back row that were talking during the movie and some woman told them to shut up, well, first she asked them to 'please stop talking' and they went right ahead and kept yakking. My boyfriend was going to say something after she did, but before he could she got up and stood in front of them and told them off. After the movie the 4 trashy ladies left and we thanked the woman who told them to shut up. In this day and age where people live scared to speak up to rude people, she got them to stop and I loved it, I wish I had that courage. People, if you want to talk through them movie, wait for it to come on DVD and watch it at home. It is sad adults have to be told how to conduct themselves in public. Nobody seems to care about being courteous anymore, it all me me me. If you cannot behave respectful, stay home, the world does not revolve around you.

Lebanese BMW (H Town)

I don't care who you are, that's funny!!! Heres a real joke. Hagerstown!! Used car salesman/mayor fucks up and closes business. Now I know why the city government is in the shitter !! If the city needs to cut the budget, they can start on the 3rd and 4th floors of city hall.

lebanese bmw (scumberland)

A jet-set Lebanese parked his brand-new BMW in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The Lebanese immediately grabbed his cell phone,dialed the police, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions,the Lebanese started screaming hysterically as some of his office colleagues reached the scene too. His BMW,which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the Lebanese finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the policeman shook his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you Lebanese are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the Lebanese. The policeman replied, "Didn't you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "Oh My God!" screamed the Lebanese. "Where's my Rolex watch?"




man, I sure miss that cow.

horny snowman (scumberland)

Why did the snowman drop his pants? He heard the snowblower was coming!

a family cow ( you will really love this one) lol (scumberland)

A Family Cow
There was once a farmer who had a wife and three sons. They had one special cow that supported them all. It was a special cow; it gave the best milk in the world. The cow was their only source of income.

One day, the farmer woke up and went out to the field to milk the cow. When he got there, he found the cow lying dead in the pasture, so he took a pitchfork and he killed himself with it. Then his wife woke up and found her husband and the cow dead in the field, so she took the same pitchfork, and she killed herself with it.

Then the oldest son woke up (22 years old), and found everyone dead. So he went down to the bridge and he was about to jump off when a mermaid appeared. The mermaid asked him what was wrong, so he told her about the cow and his parents.

She said that she could bring them all back to life under one condition: If he had sex with her 30 times. It sounded like a lot, but he agreed to it anyway. After about 15 times, he just passed out from exhaustion. The mermaid got really mad, and strangled him to death, and he washed up on the shore of the farm.

Then the middle son woke up (18 years old, a little more spry and athletic) and found everyone dead. He went down to the bridge, and found the mermaid. They made the same deal. After 25 times, he passed out and she strangled him.

Then the youngest son woke up (14 and in his prime state of horniness). He, too, found everyone dead, and went down to the bridge to kill himself and met the mermaid. She, once again, asked him to have sex with her 30 times in return for his familys and cow's lives.

The youngest son asked, "Why not 40? No, 50!"

The mermaid exclaimed, "How about 60? Or, 70!"

He said, "80! 90! 100!" She said, "110! 120!"

Then he said, "Wait a second . . . What if you die, just like the cow did?"

re pretty funny.

cool site thanks I'll check it out later :D

this is how she rolls

I showed these pictures and others to Social Services last December. Six months later they wrote back to me stating that they found no violations. The court gave her sole custody and me limited, supervised visitation.

pretty funny. ((O)) ^( (O))

and heartbreaking to see what people are like
peoples funny and sad secrets

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Can I smell your Feet? (Scumberland)

One morning in a highrise in Manhattan, A man gets on the elevator, and pushes the button for his floor.
As the door begins to close, he holds the door for a woman who is rushing to make the door.
As the Elevator begins to rise, He turns to her and asks "Can I smell your feet?"
"Certainly NOT." she replies with an indignant tone.
"Well, then it must be your pussy."

HAHAHA

BTW I am still laughing at the Bill Gates joke. Thanks for joining in the fun.

re: back on your heads (scumberland)

lol funny joke :P

Bill Gates Dies

Bill Gates dies and goes to the pearly gates
where god meets him and says ' you are a great
man I will let you choose where you go ' heaven
or hell? Bill says ok lets take a look at them,
lets start with hell. So they hop into a
elevator and after an hour of going down they
stop the doors open and Bill looks out. He sees
a bunch of beautiful women in bikini's running
around on a beach. the weather is perfect and
everybody is happy. Bill says ok if this is
hell lets see heaven so they get back in the
elevator and stop at heaven. Bill looks out and
sees a bunch of boring old angels flying around
so Bill says ok I will take hell.
-==6 months later==-

God decides to check up on Bill. But when he
looks out of the elevator, Bill is hanging by a
rope above a pit of fire.

Bill says: what the heck happened to the
beautiful women and the perfect weather and the
beach??

God says, "Ohh that was a screensaver."

they make put together 8000 dollars a month (south baltimore- federal hill )

my mom and sister work at the same place
making 14-20 dollars an hour
my mom and my sister live in the same house
she pays like 1000 dollars a month for rent there
if they shared the rent thats 500 dollars if they split it
electric maybe like 200
phone- 50
internet-100
back when i lived with my mom she spent like 100 dollars a week on grocery's
wtf are they spending the rest of the money on?
she was living in a nice house and moved to a rat shack because the landlord raised the rent from 1000 to 1500
i think there smoking away the rest of the money
they have nothing to show for
plus her boyfriend gets money
u would think they would have nice Christmas's..yeah right
she's always like im sorry im broke this year u know how it is with bills
come on give me a break i hate it when she lie's to me

with that kind of money here in cumberland u could live like royalty

Back on you uns Heads (scumberland)

A guy dies and goes to hell. The devil meets him at the gate and says, "Alright, you have died and come to hell. You will spend eternity here, but you get to choose how to spend it. You may choose one of these three doorways. Once you choose a door, you may not change it. So let's get started."

The devil opens Door One. The guy looks in and sees a couple of people standing in shit up to their waist. The guy says, "No way, let's move on."

The devil opens Door Two. The guy sees a few more people standing neck-deep in shit. The guy says, "No way, let's move on."

The devil opens Door Three. The guy sees a bunch of people standing knee-deep in shit drinking coffee. The guy says, "Great, this is the one I will chose." The devil says, "OK, wait right here, I will get you some coffee."

The guy settles in with his coffee thinking that this isn't so bad. What's the big deal?

After a few minutes the Devil's voice booms over the loud speaker: "Coffee break's over. Back on your heads!"

HAHAHAHAHA!!

I missed my ex... (cumberland)

...but my aim is getting better! hahahaha

re: h1n1

i ran into my ex today so i put it in reverse and ran into him again
bahahahahaha